Single Gentlemen In The Lifestyle
This is the most important piece of information that any single man in the swinging lifestyle can read. It's very important that you read & understand it completely.
We appreciate single gentlemen and realize that you play an important role in the swinging lifestyle so select single males are permitted. "Select" means that you must be clean, polite, well dresses and well mannered. If you're not all of these things then Close EncountersTM is not for you. We only admit 6 singles per evening. Singles are restricted to the bar unless or untill invited by a couple to join them.
Remember that Close EncountersTM is a Membership only Private Club. It's a little different than most private clubs. If you join a country club or even a condominium association, they conduct a thorough background check before allowing you to become a member. At Close EncountersTM we understand that discretion and privacy is of utmost importance so we forego initial character checks before allowing you to become a member because your character is under continual scrutiny...That means that just because you are a member today, does not mean that you can be a member tomorrow. If you misbehave, act badly or disruptive then your membership will be immediately revoked and you will be permanently bared from ever returning to the club again. So carefully read and understand this Singles Guide To Successful Swinging.
Since Close EncountersTM is a Members Only Club, members that visit again and again know each other. This also means that if you insult or offend one couple, word will spread very quickly to the other members. By the same token if you are pleasant to a couple and they enjoy their sexual encounters with you, they will be eager to introduce you to other couples and ladies so that they can enjoy your talents. Just like close friends love to recommend a good movie or a good restaurant to their friends.... Swingers like to recommend people with special sexual talents to their friends!
So in the interest of helping you get off on the right foot and not make any mistakes, please read and understand this Singles Guide To Successful Swinging. If you don't read this, then if you screw up and get ignored, you only have yourself to blame.
You will have a great time at Close EncountersTM if you leave your "Macho attitude" at the door. Be yourself, be real and socialize, have fun. If a lady ask you to dance enjoy it, if she invites you back to their table, thank her husband for the dance. Talk to her husband and be friends with him too, remember.... if he doesn't like you then you're not getting anywhere with her. Take your time and don't be in a hurry. If you do that you'll have a much better time than the guy who ask every couple who speaks to him if they are ready to go party, with a macho horn-dog attitude.
One important thing to understand about couples (and women) who are in this lifestyle, is that every couple plays for their own personal enjoyment, not yours.Some are interested only in other couples, some only in women, some do nothing, they just like the atmosphere, and some are interested in playing with single men, (this is where you come in).
Also, single doesn't necessarily mean you are not married, it only means that you play as a single. Many couples are open and seeking a second or even third man to join them. The key is, which single men they choose, and from your viewpoint, how do you get to be that guy!
First of all, understand the Lifestyle, Read the couples section of this FAQ to understand their viewpoint better. Remember that for the most part, everyone you meet at a swing club is there for the same reason you are. What you'll find is that swingers aren't cheating on their spouse, they're open about what they do, and what they want to do. Don't come to Close EncountersTM to fall in love, or thnk you're going to sweep a lady off her feet, and take her away from her husband, that will get you nowhere! Come to have a good time and make some new friends.
All couples have a set of rules by which they play. Don't try to change or sway them from their rules; it won't work and you will appear pushy.
Be a gentleman & a classy guy. Just because a woman likes sex, doesn't mean she appreciates vulgar language or suggestive remarks. Good manners and social skills are more important here than anywhere else.
Dress nice, like you're going on a date. Because you ARE going on a date! When you know you will be having an intimate encounter with your mate, you take extra special care in your daily hygiene routine, right? Well multiply that ten times for this lifestyle. On a first date you spend extra time brushing & flossing your teeth, showering, shaving, doing your hair and putting on your best cologne. Treat this like a first date, get extra cleaned up and dress to impress. Leave your torn or baggy jeans or shorts and T-shirt, tank top and baseball cap at home, you're not in high school any more so don't dress like it.
Dress to impress.... Because isn't that what you do when you go on a date? Dress like you're going to an upscale nightclub because you are.
Don't assume that just because you talk or dance with someone that they want to have sex with you. And, don't get too aggressive on the dance floor or at the bar, ect. unless you get the clear message that it's OK. If you get that message, go with it, just don't go overboard. You can even ask her, "Is this okay"?
Leave the creative pickup lines at home. The ladies at Close EncountersTM are adults and are not into head-games. They have heard every line in the book and they don't work. The best opening words in the world that work 99% of thie time at Close EncountersTM are, "Hello, this is my first time here and I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself to you, My name is Joe, thank you for coming over".
Introduce yourself to both the husband and his wife. Never attemp to wait in ambush as she heads to the ladies room. (you won't meet her, instead you will meet Pee Wee who will show you the door out).
Also, don't pretend you don't understand what kind of club you're in or what goes on here. As crazy as this sounds many guys say, "really? A swingers club? I didn't know that, I just thought I'd stop in and pay $30.00 cover charge to a club in this unfamiliar neighborhood". If you say that, you look like a complete idiot, Nobody stumbles into a swing club and we all know why we're here.
If you want a 100% sure thing then go to a whorehouse or call an escort. Close EncountersTM is a social club and the ladies here are upscale wives and girlfriends and above all, they are ladies. Treat them like ladies.
Don't insult a member's intelligence with the famous lie, "my wife wanted me to come here first by myself to check it out, so I'll come back with her the next time and we can all play together after you and I play now". No wife in the world that is just beginning to explore this lifestyle, would send her husband to a swing club without her.
Don't talk about your wife or girlfriend, and how great she is or how beautiful she is - if she was, you wouldn't be here alone and she'd be with you. - and don't tell a lady how hot that woman across the room is. If that's what you think, tell it to the lady across the room.
Don't ignore the husband. No matter how much his wife likes you, if the husband doesn't like you, you're not getting anywhere with her. This doesn't mean you need to spend all night talking with him, but introduce yourself and be cordial and play it by ear.
Don't be shy and withdrawn or be a wallflower. If you see a lady you're interested in, be observant. If she dances with guys other than her husband, or if she spends time talking to single men, maybe she'd enjoy talking or dancing with you as well. Don't be afraid if she approaches you.
Close EncountersTM is a social club not a drinking club. Drink in moderation. You will find that alcohol and erections don't go very well together and if you have too much alcohol, not only will you become stupid and belligerent but you won't be able to get an erection to save your life, and no one likes to be around a flaccid slobbery drunk.
Don't sneak over onto the "Couples Only" side of the club pretending to be with a couple. If they wanted to be approached by single men, they would be at the bar. And if they wanted you to join them on the "Couples Only" side then they would invite you. Close EncountersTM members have very good memories and a very tight network and don't soon forget intrusive behavior.
If someone tells you "NO" that is all there is to it. It's not open for discussion. Don't ask them "why not?" Or "are you sure, I'm the greatest lover in the world?" They are busy playing and are not interested in you joining them no matter how great of a lover you might be.
Do Not come to Close EncountersTM with a group of your buddies. Yes it's true that many ladies enjoy multiple male partners and many enjoy a "gangbang" but they don't need you to provide the "gang". If you only feel comfortable coming to Close EncountersTM with a group of your friends, then go back to high school because Close EncountersTM is for grown-ups. This is not a double date, or an activity for you to bring your buddies with you. Experience has shown that guys coming with their buddies tend to behave differently and more aggressively trying to show off for their friends. More than one single man arriving together will not be admitted.
All in all, it's real simple; be a gentleman, be friendly, and treat people well. Everyone has a much better evening if the ladies have a fun time, and if they do, then you've got a great chance at having a really fun time with them.
Appropriate Behavior For Joining A Couple
A true gentleman in the swinging lifestyle is non-threatening to the male spouse's virility.... He's happy to be sharing in the encounter and doesn't try to monopolize it... He knows his place in the bedroom and out.... He is also a friend of BOTH spouses, yet slightly closer to the male.
1) Always be polite
2) Never assume
3) Ask permission before touching
4) 'No" means 'No'. Accept it gracefully. No one pleases everybody. And never think that
you know more about what she wants than she does. If she or her
husband says " No", then that's exactly what they mean,
don't question "Why". If they have to tell you twice,
then you are no longer welcome at Close EncountersTM and you can
consider your membership withdrawn.
5) If you're unsure about proper procedures or what's allowed. Ask.
6) Most people in the club
have a partner, include
them in your conversation when appropriate.
7) Mind your manners. Be on your very best behavior.
8) Pay attention to
nonverbal signals, both
positive & negative. Body language speaks much louder than
actual words, Act accordingly.
9) When talking to other
people in the club that you
are interested in, make sure you understand their personal rules
and boundaries, Every one is different.
10) Admission to the club
DOES NOT gaurantee that you
will meet someone to have sex with, but only that you will be
admitted to the club. No one owes you anything and you shouldn't
expect anything from anyone.
11) If you have a problem
with someone at the club, PLEASE
tell the management and let them handle it, not you. Never create
a scene.
12) If you're new and have
additional questions about
the club or the lifestyle, ask to speak to one of the regular
member couples, They will be happy to answer any questions you
might have.
13) Class and style will get
you much further than pushiness, arrogance or macho crass behavior.
14) Be aware of how much you
drink. No one is attracted
to, or wants to be around a drunk. This is a social club, NOT a
drinking club.
15) Never go on the
"Couples Only"
side of the room without being with a lady or a couple.
Thank you so much for
taking the time to read and understand this guide to successful
swinging ....
You'll be gald you did!!!
COUPLES SINGLES Etiquette In Swinging
